Friday, July 12, 2013

How I Quit Smoking In Sobriety

On Sept 10th, 2012, I decided to quit smoking. There was some work that had to be done in order for me to get prepared to breakup with the love of my life, also, my worst enemy. For six months my prayers were "God, please help me be willing to quit smoking, please help me want it", around 3 months my prays changed to "God, now that I want it, please help me be willing to quit smoking". About a month prior to my decision I made one final prayer. Just like my addiction, I made many sweet promises, but never a decision. My last prayer went something like this, "God, now that I want it and I am willing to quit smoking, please help me do it".

I signed onto Tobacco Free Florida website and scheduled my quit date. They sent me patches for free, which was awesome because I always used money as an excuse for not quitting. FYI, I save about $50.00 +/- a week by not smoking.

My journey so far has been filled with anger, fear, resentments, vulnerabilities, tears, and sadness. Quitting smoking is hard, but I found not impossible. I have already proven time and time again that I can not stop once I start, and once I stop, I can not stay stopped. I had to use a power greater than myself; I can't, he can, I think I'll let him.

I utilized many of the tools found on the Tobacco Free Florida website along with my own little bag of tricks. I told everyone, I built a support group, and shared how I felt each day on Facebook with my drawings. It was a great way to keep track of my feelings and also share my experience, strength, and hope with others that may have quit or want to. I hope they help you too.

If you would like to quit smoking, or learn more on how to quit smoking, check out how to quit smoking in recovery to help you get prepared to make the change.


DAY1 Smoke-Free


09/10/2012

AHHHHHHHHH! OMG, I can't believe I quit smoking. So full of anxiety and fear. I want to do this, I am willing, I am just so scared. I am also feeling strangely strong. I can do this, I can do this. I had to pray a lot, used stress balls, and drank lots of water.  


DAY 2 Smoke-Free

09/11/2012

Wow - mornings suck! I wanted to smoke so bad, I could taste it. I had to drop to my knees and cry because it was that overwhelming. I'm pushing through. Thank God I told people I was quitting, just the support on my Facebook page as I update my friends is enough to keep me from a cigarette at a time.

DAY3 Smoke-Free

09/13/2012

Gaining a little strength today, hanging around non-smokers and keeping myself very busy with people (on the phone and in person), playing games, writing, drawing, etc...got to keep my brain occupied. I am feeling pretty fantastic I must say, Day 3, pfftt, I got this. 

 





DAY4 Smoke-Free

09/15/2012

Omg, I spoke too soon! Mr. Smoking totally blew my wall down with uncontrollable cravings...sun-a-ma-bitch! I thought I was doing so well, I am exhausted from withdrawals and from thinking so much. This is going to be one of those git-r-done days and muscle through this misery. Talking to my support about my feelings, praying/meditation a lot, and more water. 



DAY5 Smoke-Free

09/16/2012

Ugh, if he isn't waiting...gerrrr. I'm so angry at him. After my cravings knocked down my wall yesterday, I am feeling a little vulnerable today. I have been super spacey these past couple days too. I am feeling a little neutral today and withdrawn. I'm told this is normal. Let's keep on moving on!


DAY6 Smoke-Free

09/17/2012
OK, so cravings are getting better. The morning still sucks, that is when my cravings are the worst! Smoking has been on my mind pretty much all day but more like a lingering thought and not a "I have to act on this now" thought. 


DAY7 Smoke-Free

09/18/2012
Went out tonight and was around a lot of smokers, I felt like I was playing a video game dodging the force fields. I prayed, talked to my support, and allowed myself to feel. It was great, the desire to pick up a cigarette wasn't there!


I hope you enjoyed, please watch out for more drawings as I near the end of week 2. Smoke-free one day at a time!

2 Weeks Smoke-Free


Week 2

9/22/2012: Mr. Smoking kicked my butt a little bit in week 2. Cravings, obsessions, anger, sadness, etc. were about as strong as week 1, if not stronger. The problem with week 2 is battling the motivation to keep going. Week 1, I was filled with a lot of drive, motivation, and adrenaline. It was an up & down week, but I'm moving through it, by end of week I fought back and have the drive again! One day at a time!



3 Weeks Smoke-Free


Week 3
9/25/2012: The past few days I have been very hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. The desire to smoke was really strong in the morning & throughout certain times in the day. I had to literally say out-loud "God, remove the obsession to pick up a cigarette, remove my irritability and anger please", repeat as necessary, haha. I have to say it's getting easier, the longer I stay away from that 1st cigarette, the better I feel. I can't control my smoking, if I could I wouldn't stop. Once I have one I want more and then I can't control my cravings. I can't even have just one! I take a lot of deep breaths and remember it's one moment at a time. Day 16 was the first morning I didn't wake up super pissed (the car ride still sucks but it's slowly improving on the anger level) God (Higher Power, Spirit of the Universe, etc) is doing for me what I can't do for myself. I am feeling stronger with this power!



Week 3 - Part 2


9/27/2012: So, I ended up taking off my patch way too soon and went "cold turkey". I have been sweating, shaking, and I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin I am so full of rage (Mornings are horrible). The physical and emotional withdrawals are intense. I decided to go back on the patch & finish the process as the instructions suggest, lol. I am already starting to feel a little normal again.


30 DAYS Smoke-Free Certificate! 




Week 4

10/06/2012: It's starting to get easier & yet harder. I am having less cravings & obsessing about it less but yet I still want one. I miss that morning smoke with my cup of coffee (God, that was my favorite cigarette of the day). I loved smoking, I would be lying if I said I didn't, I really do miss it. I am also going through some serious life changes so I often wonder if now was a great time to quit. I know that I am romancing my smoking, it's hard sometimes not to. I also know that I quit for a reason, so just for today Mr. Smoke you will not control me.

60 DAYS Smoke-Free Certificate!





11/08/2012: In October I moved 3 times. Between having to leave one place, not finding the right place, and bouncing around unknowing of what was going to happen...I did not find it necessary to pick up a smoke! 2012 sucked to say the least, lol. I went through a terrible breakup, I moved from place to place over 5 times throughout the year, and had to deal with other life changing situations. I have been through fear, anger, resentment, and loneliness, sprinkled with  a dash of boredom...I still did not pick up a cigarette, drink, or drug. I know that God is real, because for an alcoholic/addict of this type, this should not be so. If I do decide to pick up smoking again, it will be because I want to, not because I have to. Today I am 60 days without a cigarette and I am very grateful!

90 DAYS Smoke-Free Certificate!








12/30/2012: I am officially over 100 days smoke-free. It works! Give time it's place. Sometimes (once in a blue moon) I want to smoke. I quickly change my thoughts and put my butt into action. For the most part, I am good :) I still use my art to help with cravings.


6 Months Smoke-Free Certificate!



03/21/2013: Things I have noticed since my last smoke. I know longer crave and obsess, I gained about 10 lbs, and I am exercising 5 days a week. I am able to complete a full spinning class, Zumba class, and run on a tredmill for an hour. I don't drink as much coffee anymore, I love being active, and I feel healthier than I ever have. This has taken my recovery to a new level and my life is amazing. The graitude I have I could cry over.
















9 Months Smoke-Free!


07/11/2013: I am over 9 months smoke-free, YAY! Sometimes I think about smoking and at 9 months there is definite craving that resurfaces more so than in my 6 months, but it goes away. The obsession has been lifted however. I have also gained about 15 lbs since I quite. I am OK with this because I know that the 1st year is the hardest. All and all I am very grateful that I quit smoking because I can breath and do all kinds of things. This year I have been zip lining, ran a 5k, cycling, and I even do Zumba. I don't have the wheezing, coughing, hacking issue either and my lungs don't hurt. I look forward to celebrating my year in the next few months. Thanks for all your support, will update soon.

01/03/2014: Hey all! It's been a minute since I last updated. Great news, I did in fact celebrate a year sober on September 10th 2013. I am super happy that I quit. I am currently enrolled in another 5k and a mud race this year. I have even lost a little bit of weight and look forward to what 2014 has to offer. Blessings!

1 Year Smoke-Free!


Blessed,
Ashling



Monday, December 17, 2012

Sandy Hook Massacre: Focus On Mental Health Illneses

When a young man in his early 20's came into Sandy Hook Elementary School massacring young children and staff, many of us can't stop asking why?!

The other question we are asking is "How do we prevent another tragedy such as this?"

Although guns in the wrong hands are never safe, I think we need redirect our focus on a more in-depth preventative measures. Instead of broadcasting and bashing this mans name and his family, we should be looking into a solution. Combating hate with more hate never works. We also aren't teaching our children healthy ways to handle, deal, and cope with situations if our first reaction is to react with hostility. The people who were not directly affected by the tragic deaths of their loved ones (society at large) need to be the supporters, not the ones screaming and throwing aggression around the web like venom. It's almost like we are using social media as an means of modern day witch hunting.

What should our focus be? We should be promoting our support by being positive, giving faith, providing hope, and allowing families and friends to grieve without making things worse. We need to then be discussing preventive measures, like mental health treatment for those suffering from illnesses.

Mental health illnesses in America are scarcely under-treated. How many men, woman, and children are suffering today from mental health issues that need to get help but cant because insurance does not find it "necessary" to treat. It's not life threatening. I think after seeing what we have seen over the last several years, along with the most recent tragedy, we can all agree; it's become life threatening!

A few months ago I had the honor to help aid in a 12 step call for an alcoholic/addict that had just used meth. He was begging for help, threatening to kill himself, and had no where to go. He had a brand new baby at home and a scared wife who had already been physically abused by him on another run. A friend and I took him to the local hospital in Ft. Lauderdale to have him checked in for a psych evaluation. Moments later, he called us saying they let him out. The hospital did not find him a threat to himself or others. We called the cops, they could do nothing because the hospital discharged him as "safe". I almost didn't believe it, except I saw it with my own eyes. The hospital and cops didn't care, or couldn't and for someone trying to get somebody else help and not being able to, its no wonder as a society we just don't care. We can't, nobody will help us!

I found this blog today about a mother who has a child that suffers from mental health issues, she talks about her fear and how one of those fears is him becoming like Adam Lanza. I give her credit for bringing her skeletons out of the closet to talk about something we all have wondered. Do any of these mothers see signs in their children before they have killed? If in fact they do, how do we get them to speak up and then how do we get them the help they deserve without ridiculing their parenting?

I believe if we focus our attention on mental health care and the treatment of mental health illnesses, we will see a decrease in murders like this, and we will see an overall improvement in our society as a whole. Getting a check up from the neck up is as important as checking for blood pressure. How many less strokes, heart attacks, addictions would we see if we treated the whole person?

When are we going to stop hiding our truths and start talking so we can help others?!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween Hand Cake & Edible Eyeballs

I suck at cooking. Its pretty much a given since I don't do it often. Actually, to be honest, I don't know if I really suck since I don't do it much at all. Anyway, whats my point? Oh right! I baked a cake for Halloween and it does not suck. I can at the very least do that. If you didn't know, I love Halloween and I love horror, gore, goo, blood, zombies, Tim Burton, and the like there of. This is my holiday! I wanted to do something different this year, something with a punch! So lets give a great big hand to, drum role please, my Halloween Hand Cake!

 

 

Halloween Recipe Ingredients


1 Box Red Velvet Cake Mix
1 Jar Of Frosting (White/Cream Cheese/ Buttermilk/etc...) - Save a little of the white frosting on the side for eye color.
1 Packet of Duncan House Caramel Powder Frosting Packets (This is for the skin color)
Food Coloring Gels - Colors Used: Black (Nails & Pupils), Blue (Eyes), Red (Blood), Green (Veins)
1 Bag of White Chocolate Lindt Truffles (used to make the eyes)
Bag of Gummy Worms (Optional)
Toothpicks

There is no right or wrong way to do this. I actually messed up, haha, so I just got creative. I'll just tell you what I did and maybe you can do it better :)

 

Making The Eyeballs

 

1. Mix white frosting with a little of the blue food coloring to desired shade.

2. With your finger, create a circle on the top of the truffle.*

3. Squeeze a tiny amount of black food gel dye in the center and move it around with a toothpick.

4. Let dry & place around Halloween hand cake.

*Tip: The truffle has a raised nipple on one side, use this side to decorate on. This way when you put it down on the counter, it will stand without tipping over.

 

Making The Halloween Hand Cake Basics 

 

After baking the cake, I placed it in the freezer for about 20 mins to fully cool. I took it out of the pan and placed it on a platter. I then placed my hand on top of the cake and cut around my hand & fingers. I heated up the frosting a little so that I could drip it over the hand. This is where it got super messy! I put the hand back in the fridge to cool. I waited about 10 mins (I suggest longer, I think I was impatient) I took the hand off the plate and broke some fingers, I put it back on the platter, lol. I ended up just decorating the frosting that was on the platter around the hand creating red swirls with the red gel food dye. Where the fingers broke, I just crumbled some left over cake making it look like the hand was bleeding.

 Finishing Touches

 

A. Blood: Squeeze some red gel dye around the parts that are "bleeding", this defines the area more.

B. Veins: Squeeze green gel food dye on the arms to create the veins.

C. Nails: Use black gel food dye and spread it around using a toothpick.

D. Place eyes & worms wherever it adds drama!

Happy Halloween!!!


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Recovery Warriors: Yoda Quotes


As far back as I can remember, my brother was a HUGE Star Wars fan. He watched all the movies, acted out all the scenes, and had all the comics and toys. I thought he was a dork. As I have grown up, I see him differently today. My brother was always calm and collected, he just did his thing. My brother had the force.

I was such a sensitive child, like all the time. I would try to make you laugh but if you laughed when I wasn’t prepared, I cried. Even as a small child my emotions were unmanageable and my behavior was that of an alcoholic, YAY! One of the things I remember most, was my brother laughing at me when I cried because he thought I looked like Yoda, I think he made me cry more times than not just to see it lol. I would scream, because that’s how I get my points across, “No, Bob, you take that back! I do not look like Yoda…Bob, no, no, take it back!” followed by a shrill cry to my Mother. I was dramatic too, if you didn’t already catch that.

The longer I have been in recovery and the more I live by spiritual principles, I care less about what others think. I also, view the world and those in it a little differently; I have a new found love for Yoda. Have you actually ever really listened to what he says? It’s very spiritual, recovery related, and totally awesome. I’d like to take a moment to share a little 11th Step Meditation with you. Let’s get Yoda up in here!

Yoda Wisdom: Recovery Quotes

“No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

“If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are ... a different game you should play.”- Shatterpoint

“To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose. Give off light, or darkness, Padawan. Be a candle, or the night.” - Dark Rendezvous

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

“When you look at the dark side, careful you must be ... for the dark side looks back.” -Dark Rendezvous

“On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain.” - Dark Rendezvous

“To answer power with power, the Jedi way this is not. In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are.” - Star Wars: The Clone Wars, "Lair of Grievous"

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.” - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Yoda One-Liners & Addicts/Alcoholics

Luke: “I can’t believe it.” - Yoda:” That is why you fail.”
Step 3: Came to Believe…

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
 Only when we are aware of our fears and character defects can we learn to change. Driven by 1000 forms of fear…

“Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see.”  
 We may not see our bad behavior, but others may see it. Take suggestions.

“Grave danger you are in. Impatient you are.”
Patience is a virtue…

“Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you.”
Egotistical and Prideful are not for us…

“Happens to every guy sometimes this does.”
You are not alone…

“Good relations with the Wookiees, I have.”
Be sure your relationship with God and your fellows is right…

“Always two there are, a master and an apprentice.”
Big him, little me…

 “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
If we are feeding fear, we can not feed faith. Faith without works is dead.

“Much to learn you still have.”
We are always growing towards perfection, we will fall short. We will always be learning.

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
Step 4 & 5 – Step 6 & 7, Letting Go! We do not wish to let go of the past, nor do we wish to shut the door on it. If we are going to truly know freedom we have to let go off character defects that are holding us back.

“You must unlearn what you have learned.”
Don’t be a know it all, that’s what got us to our bottom in the first place.

 “Your weapons, you will not need them.”
Put your fist down, the fight is over. When we surrender we turn our lives over to a lovely God as we understand him.

How is the force with you? 

Blessed- SoberButterfly

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Zen Of Zombie: Horror to Serenity

In recovery we begin to find inspiration everywhere. One of the greatest ways to link into that inspiration are books. Someone bought me this book because they know my love for anything & everything Horror as well as Zombies! They also know I am in recovery, which is why this book is FANTASTIC! My two favorite things in one, nice.

So what exactly is The Zen Of Zombie? Simply put, its better living through the undead & if you think about it long enough, it totally makes sense. I have yet to see a Zombie freak out over bills, what others think, and be bothered with the future or the past. They have no resentments and are never rushing to get anywhere. They just are! They live in the present.

Once you open the book and begin to skim through the pages, you will be presented with the Habits. To give you an example I will share my thoughts on a few of these habits in the book and how Ive taken those habits and applied them to my recovery. I would love to hear your thoughts, idea, and experience, so please feel free to share!

Habit 01: Be Adaptable

Life's gonna throw you some curve-balls, and nobody knows this better than a Zombie, Alcoholic, or Addict.

This habit truly reminds me of acceptance and with acceptance I think of page 417 (or 449 depending on your edition) in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous which says "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Habit 02: Play to Your Strengths (& Ignore Your Weaknesses)

In order to create positive thinking, I found it helps when my actions are positive and my motives are pure. When I feed into my fears (Character Defects or weaknesses if you will) I neglect all the beautiful attributes I do have. I end up not feeding my faith, as a result, I am miserable and discontent with life, myself, and others. 

If I want to have inner strength to practice the opposite of my character defects then I need to pull that power from somewhere greater. This where my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, comes in. It takes a lot of practice and patience to do the opposite. But it can be accomplished when I play to my strengths and ignore my weaknesses, those very feelings are just feelings and not reality.

Habit 03: I will choose Free Will. 

When I look at this habit I think of two things. Free Will = I have a choice today & the proper use of will. I think of chapter 6 in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Into Action.

"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will."

I must speak to others, speak to God, and speak to my experience to know if I am using will to benefit or destroy. I as an alcoholic addict may not know the difference.

Habit 07: Where of One Cannot Speak...

Seriously, no one likes a gossip or a motormouth. People who can't stop prattling on and on about endless trivialities will never get far in life. Zombies, by contrast, get very far  precisely because they place extreme limits on verbal communication. - Pg 46 Zen of Zombie

Which brings me to Step 6, 12&12, page 67 which states "Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too". We are of no use to anyone when we speak ill of them. We are not of use to ourselves, to the person we speak of, or to the person we are speaking to. Even when we mask it with such sayings as "I'm just concerned with them" or "It's because they are sick that they..." Remember we talked a little about motives? When I speak of someone or something and I am masking it with concerned words, manipulating the situation in order to suite my own needs and desires (usually based on a foundation of fear) I am not trying to be helpful, I am trying to protect my reality and in the meantime I'm hurting others. 

I am not better than anyone else, I do not work a better program than anyone else, I am no different than the drunk or druggy on the street. How do I know this? Because God has a plan and I am not in charge of what his will for me or others is. Therefore, If someone is doing something or saying something I don't like, who am I to say that it's not God's plan for them to experience what they are experiencing. There are plenty of things (terrible things) that I have gone through where others felt they knew better...but, I wouldn't be who I am today or where I am today if anything in that timeline was different. I am grateful for that.

Habit 09: Strength In Numbers

How true this is for the Alcoholic or Addict. I can not do this alone. It is a self-less program, not a selfish one. No matter which steps you are looking at, they all say the same thing "we". So when in doubt, when in fear, when lack of faith becomes my dilemma, there is always an alcoholic or addict that can help me recharge and tap back into my relationship with God. 

I just love this book and the more I read it, the more I actually see life different, a new found perspective on principles, my steps, and recovery. I love that even with a little time under my belt, I can still learn, grow, and be willing to do both. What a beautiful way to live.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I Am So Strange!!!

 I try to read books that inspire me and for the most part its right on the cover...i.e. The 4 Agreements, Meditation Books, The Secret, Etc.,but have you ever gone into a book store to only be lead to a book that you never thought would have a message? This is exactly what happened to me. Awhile back in sobriety I went into a book store lost and confused and wondering what I was doing with my life and where I was going. As I was walking I came across this book: "Emily The Strange - The Lost Days" and oh how I connected. It is a book for teens so I didn't think too much of it. I walked by it about 3 times before I decided to pick it up and read a little. It was written like a journal. I bought it purely based on the cover and thought it would be a fun no thinking read to occupy my time. I starting reading it that night and WOW, it has things in there that I identified with so much in my disease and in recovery. This book has nothing to do with recovery or sobriety but as you can see from below there was more than meets the eye!

After a blackout...
Page 23, " Sat there feeling depressed and frightened and sorry for myself for a while, then cheered up by thinking maybe my life had been really terrible and worth forgetting"

Alcohol was my Master!
Page 39, “The overall gist of this dream was that a giant lump of black candy, all molten and full of power, was buried under the El Dungeon. It sent up these invisible ineluctable sugar tentacles that tempted me to touch them. When I did, I got these huge sugar-shock rushes, so heavy they made my molars hurt. And I couldn’t not touch the tentacles. And I knew that the lump of black candy was mine and I had to protect it. But all the time underground creepy-crawly cave mutant people who licked and lapped at it were attacking it, and there was nothing I could do. One by one the invisible sugar tentacles died, and the under-ground candy pool leaked away almost to nothing, and then suddenly I knew that when the last drop of candy was gone, my heart would stop beating, and I wouldn’t be able to take a breath. And then my heart DID stop, and I woke up yelling “AIEEEE!” and all the cats jumped off me and went running down the alley.”

Recovery in the Beginning...
Page 44-45, "It’s scary how, when I try to think past three days ago, the only thing I can remember is the feeling of how it is to remember. Not even the whisker of an actual memory. Do I live in a city? In a cave? In a tree house? Is it weird that I’m living in a lean-to made of a refrigerator box? Am I weird? The lady in the bus station stared at me like I was weird. Do I have parents? Friends? Pets? Do they miss me? Etc. Got myself so worked up into fake-missing people who might not even exist that I even cried a little fake tear, then got irked at myself for being a baby. No point getting sentimental until I at least know what I’m missing. After all, I could be an orphan; or maybe my parents did this to me, maybe I’m better off with out them."

Prayer & Meditation!
Page 45, "When I got over my fake-pity party, I picked up the cats at the lean-to, and then we went and roamed around the perimeter of town for a while enjoying the solitude. I kind of lost track of time, I guess. I sort of took a nap lying out there in the middle of the dust plain. When I woke up I could see all these stars."


A Glimmer of Hope:


Gratitude...
Page 66, " I'm finally back in my lean-to. And man, things may be tough right now, but in a way, I got it good. I got cats everywhere, a sandwich, a black cherry soda, my notebook. I got skylight I can see the stars through, and the night air is perfect"


Well, that's all I am going to give you. My suggestion? Ask God to show you something in a place you may never have looked.

Blessed,
SoberButterfly

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Sober Up Art: Let Me Scream For The Previous Dream


I love to create. I used to think that my best work came when I was drunk. Turns out that my best work comes from being sober. I use creating art (drawing, painting, clay molding, sculpting, etc...) as a form of meditation. Engaging in my art has brought me closer to my Higher Power (I like to call him God cause it's easy). I feel free and lifted! I get excited and happy when I am in the zone. It took some time, in fact about a year before I could learn how to be creative again. The more I try at my art the cooler it gets. The more I create the more inspired I become. Hmm, that's interesting! The same works with prayer. The more I pray and the more I meditate, the greater my connection comes with God. I have to keep practicing in order to see results. What a novel idea ;)

Below are the work in progress pics before I completed it, enjoy!







Blessed - SoberButterfly